What\'s one news headline or story which you can\'t forget? What was it all about? How did you react
학생이 쓴 원문
It happened when I became 20 years. A lot of people were killed when the Sewol of ferry was flooded. Not only that I heard that there was an younger brother of my friend in that accident. Afterward I got shocked. Before ferry was flooding, the captain went away from ferry alone. So If I got this accident, I should act in my own way.
강사 첨삭
Be careful in u[이름]g transitional words such as \'afterward\', \'before\', \'so\', etc. These are use if you\'ll be creating a new point in a new sentence. You did great in explaining your experience. I got complete thoughts in each sentence. Keep creating good sentences like these. :)
>> It happened when I turned 20 years old.
A lot of people were killed when the Sewol of ferry was flooded.
>> A lot of people were killed during the flooding of the Sewol Ferry.
Not only that I heard that there was an younger brother of my friend in that accident.
>> That time, I also I heard that my friend\'s younger brother was in that accident.
Afterward I got shocked.
>> I got shocked.
Before ferry was flooding, the captain went away from ferry alone.
>> Before the ferry got flooded, the captain went away.
So If I got this accident, I should act in my own way.
>> If I was in this kind of accident, I need to act in my own way.
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