What\'s the best lifestyle for a retire in Korea?
학생이 쓴 원문
1, First, I believe that both body and mind to be healthy.
2, To achieve this, I need to exercise regularly.
3, If I have a hobby I enjoy or something I\'v wanted to do,I should learn it.
4 To adapt to the changing world, we need to read various books and obtain information.
5, For peace of mind, I want to live a compact life with restrained busy thoughts.
강사 첨삭
Here\'s your corrected composition, Ms. [Name]. I appreciate your sending it. Please go over the revisions given below. Have a good rest!
Cheers,
Jean~~
What\'s the best lifestyle for a retire in Korea?
First, I believe that both body and mind to be healthy.
>>> I believe that a healthy body and mind come first.
To achieve this, I need to exercise regularly.
>>> OR: Consistent exercise is essential to accomplish this goal.
If I have a hobby I enjoy or something I\'v wanted to do,I should learn it.
>>> If I have a hobby I enjoy or something I’ve always wanted to do, I should learn it.
To adapt to the changing world, we need to read various books and obtain information.
>>> OR: To keep up with the changing world, we must read widely and gather information.
For peace of mind, I want to live a compact life with restrained busy thoughts.
>>> For peace of mind, I want to live a simple life with a calm and focused mind.
>>> OR: Living a simple life and calming my busy thoughts is what I need for inner peace.
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