What\'s your thought on vending machines in elementary schools?

2024-08-20 · 첨삭 강사 Jean

학생이 쓴 원문

I think it\'s good because when students thirsty they can buy a drink and water. students can drink it when they don\'t have water. And Teachers can drink a coffee.

강사 첨삭



Here\'s another corrected essay for you, Yale. Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. See you tomorrow! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                            

                                       What\'s your thought on vending machines in elementary schools?


I think it\'s good because when students thirsty they can buy a drink and water. 
>> I think it\'s good because students can buy a drink and water when they are thirsty. 

students can drink it when they don\'t have water.
>> Students can drink beverages from the vending machine when they don\'t have their own water. 

And Teachers can drink a coffee.
>> And teachers can drink coffee. 

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