What should the world do to stop plant extinction?

2019-06-17 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

World nations must have managed population to prevent dissapearing plant species. But it is not feasible measures. Continuance checks on plants are needed to protect it. To be specific, Some workers regularly check whether they has some illness or not. Nowadays the envrionment such as pollutant air conditon, drought and flood make them to get viruses to the plants. what we inform and warn the seriousness on the disappearing plant is the best way to do stop plant extinction. In korea, Some event will be held on April 5th. At that time some of facilites are planting a trees in the near yard and mountain. This event help the childerens to give impression about protecting plants. Finally, All countries have to follow climate agreement that would control all of industrial processing. I convince that these ways would be best way to prevent disappearing plants.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름] [이름]! Thank you for this. I think those systems will help if they are seriously observed or followed.

- T. Beth
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World nations must have managed population to prevent dissapearing plant species.

>>> Nations around the world must manage their population to prevent the disappearance of plant species.

But it is not feasible measures.

>>> OR: However, there are no feasible measures.
Continuance checks on plants are needed to protect it.

>>> Continuous checking on plants are needed to protect it.

To be specific, Some workers regularly check whether they has some illness or not.

>>> To give a specific example, some workers should regularly check whether they have some illness or not.

Nowadays the envrionment such as pollutant air conditon, drought and flood make them to get viruses to the plants.

>>> Nowadays, the environmental factors such as air pollution, drought and flood destroy the plants.

what we inform and warn the seriousness on the disappearing plant is the best way to do stop plant extinction.

>>> Information and awareness on the seriousness of the disappearing plant is the best way to do stop plant extinction.
In korea, Some event will be held on April 5th.

>>> OR: In Korea, an event is held on April 5th.

At that time some of facilites are planting a trees in the near yard and mountain.

>>> At that time, some of facilities are planting trees near yard and mountains.

This event help the childerens to give impression about protecting plants.

>>> This event help children realize the importance of protecting plants.
Finally, All countries have to follow climate agreement that would control all of industrial processing.

>>> correct (Finally, all countries have to follow climate agreement that would control all of industrial processings.)

I convince that these ways would be best way to prevent disappearing plants.

>>> I am convinced that these ways would be the best way to prevent plant extinction.

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