What situation excite and motivate you?

2021-09-17 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

I am highly encouraged by a stimulating but collaborative environment. During my junior year at university, I joined a global banking research project where I joined a team of seven people and analyzed European commercial banks by comparing them with Japanese counterparts. At the end of each month, our team conducts a monthly presentation. Apart from the competition, our team openly shared peer reviews. I could get constructive feedback regarding content, presentation style, and even Japanese word choices and tone. The remarks from team members helped me improve my Japanese language skills and ground a foundation for my presentation style to pitch ideas effectively to clients. I want to work in an environment where I can openly share feedback and improve my professional presence.

강사 첨삭

I am highly encouraged by a stimulating but collaborative environment. 
>>> correct   
During my junior year at university, I joined a global banking research project where I joined a team of seven people and analyzed European commercial banks by comparing them with Japanese counterparts. 
>>> During my junior year at the university, I joined a global banking research project where I joined a team of seven people and analyzed European commercial banks by comparing them with Japanese counterparts.   
At the end of each month, our team conducts a monthly presentation. 
>>> correct  
Apart from the competition, our team openly shared peer reviews. 
>>> correct  
I could get constructive feedback regarding content, presentation style, and even Japanese word choices and tone. 
>>> correct 
The remarks from team members helped me improve my Japanese language skills and ground a foundation for my presentation style to pitch ideas effectively to clients. 
>>> correct  
I want to work in an environment where I can openly share feedback and improve my professional presence.
>>>  correct 

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