What situation excites or motivates you?

2018-04-10 · 첨삭 강사 Stacy

학생이 쓴 원문

What situation excites or motivates you? when I plan a trip, I\'m always excited and happy. Because I can concentrate on myself without consciousness. also new place and people make me pleasant . last summer, I traveled dosmetic trip alone ( This was the first time,I\'ve done it) I could learn about small world and me while doing a trip. So traveling is the one of my life .

강사 첨삭

Thank you. Please take note below the following corrections I made.


T.STACY


YOU SAY:


When I plan a trip, I\'m always excited and happy.


CORRECT

OR:


Every time I plan my trip, I always feel excited and happy.


YOU SAY:


Because I can concentrate on myself without consciousness.


BETTER SAY:


Because I can focus on myself without being conscious.


YOU SAY:


also new place and people make me pleasant .


BETTER SAY:


Seeing new places and meeting new people makes me feel good.


YOU SAY:


last summer, I traveled dosmetic trip alone ( This was the first time,I\'ve done it)


BETTER SAY:


Last Summer, I went on a domestic trip. (It was the first time I have done it).


YOU SAY:


I could learn about small world and me while doing a trip.


BETTER SAY:


I learned about the world and myself while I was on that trip.


YOU SAY:


So traveling is the one of my life .


BETTER SAY:


So Travelling is my life.

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