What things do you want to add or remove in your house? Explain your answer.

2021-09-26 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

It is my personal opinion but I want to add a high specification computer in my room. I think my computer is a great computer but it has a lot of limits because it is not that high specification. If I buy a high specification computer, I can play a vedio game with no any disconnects. So I want to add a high specification computer in my room. And I think a lot of vases in my balcony is not neccessary for my house. In my balcony, there are too many vases so I think it is very annoying to me. I think just a few vases make my house\'s balcony more beautiful, but my parents buy more and more vases. So I think removing some vases is very neccessary to my house for the harmony of my house.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! :)

I feel the same way too. I badly want to have a computer with great specs and I want to remove unnecessary things in my house was well. Thanks for sharing. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

It is my personal opinion but I want to add a high specification computer in my room.
>> It is my personal opinion that I want to add a computer with high specification in my room. 

I think my computer is a great computer but it has a lot of limits because it is not that high specification.
>>I think my computer is great but it has a lot of limitations because it it doesn\'t have that much high specs. 

If I buy a high specification computer, I can play a vedio game with no any disconnects.
>> If I buy a computer with high specs, I can play a video game without getting disconnected. 

So I want to add a high specification computer in my room.
>> That is why I want a computer with high specs. 

And I think a lot of vases in my balcony is not neccessary for my house.
>> Another thing is that I think that there are a lot of unnecessary vases in my house. 

In my balcony, there are too many vases so I think it is very annoying to me.
>> In my balcony, there are too many vases so I think it is very annoying.

I think just a few vases make my house\'s balcony more beautiful, but my parents buy more and more vases.
>> I think that having only a few would be more beautiful but my parents want to have more. 

So I think removing some vases is very neccessary to my house for the harmony of my house
>> So I think removing some vases is necessary to make our house look more harmonious. 

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