What was the best thing about your childhood?

2020-11-04 · 첨삭 강사 Gina

학생이 쓴 원문

Being considerate of others and respecting people are the two most important factors in real life. They should be started in childhood life from their parents and the younger is the better. These two factors lead them to advance life in social activity and happiness family life. With these two factors, they learned how to operate people and when they start and finish it.

강사 첨삭

Hi, Ethan!

Thank you for submitting your composition to me.

I agree that learning how to be considerate and respectful is very important especially as a child as it will be a foundation of one\'s personality as they grow old.

By the way, in the last sentence, the grammar is actually correct but I think the term \'operate\' should be changed.

That\'s because the terms seems to be like controlling other people forcefully.

That\'s why I used \'how to work with people\' or \' how to build relationships\' to make it lighter. ^^

~Teacher Gina

Being considerate of others and respecting people are the two most important factors in real life.

>> CORRECT.
They should be started in childhood life from their parents and the younger is the better.

>> They should start it from their parents in their childhood life. The younger, the better.
These two factors lead them to advance life in social activity and happiness family life.

>> These two factors lead them to advance in a life with social activity and happy family life.
With these two factors, they learned how to operate people and when they start and finish it.

>> CORRECT.

>> Or: With these two factors, they learned how to work with people and when they start and finish it.

>> With these two factors, they learned how to build relationships with people and when they start and finish it.

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