What was the last piece of good news you heard ?

2025-03-06 · 첨삭 강사 Shay

학생이 쓴 원문

These days, I am very interested in my daughters\' happiness and investing in American stocks. To be honest, the news I want to hear most right now is the surge in American stocks. I am investing a large amount of money in American stocks, and if I make a profit, I will use it for my daughters. but The surge of U.S stocks seems to take more time and I will wait until then. Next, speaking about my daughters, I don\'t worry about my elder daughter becasue she is very healthy and is doing well as a nurse. But my younger daughter is so weak that I always worry about her. she is so introverted that she doesn\'t like making friends and going out and prefers to stay home alone. so I have been encouraging her to exercise but she hasn\'t. But recently, I was so happy to hear from my elder daughter that she finally started Pilates. I know that Pilates is a type of yoga and is very popular with young Korean women. I hope she keeps doing Pilates and that it makes her healthy and outgoing.

강사 첨삭

Hi, Soon Ho^^
It\'s good to know that you really care about your daughters\' future. 
Thank you for sharing.
_T. SHAY^^
***
These days, I am very interested in my daughters\' happiness and investing in American stocks.
>>Correct
OR: These days I am interested in two things - my daughters\' happiness and the American stocks.
To be honest, the news I want to hear most right now is the surge in American stocks. 
>>To be honest, the news I want to hear the most right now is the surge in American stocks.
I am investing a large amount of money in American stocks, and if I make a profit, I will use it for my daughters. 
>>Correct
OR: I am investing a large amount of money in American stocks, and I am doing it for my daughters\' future.
but The surge of U.S stocks seems to take more time and I will wait until then.
>>But the surge of U.S stocks seems to take more time, so I need to keep waiting until then.
Next, speaking about my daughters, I don\'t worry about my elder daughter becasue she is very healthy and is doing well as a nurse.
>>Next, speaking of my daughters, I don\'t worry about my elder daughter because she is very healthy and is doing well as a nurse.
But my younger daughter is so weak that I always worry about her. 
>>Correct
OR: But my younger daughter is quite the opposite, so I always worry about her.
she is so introverted that she doesn\'t like making friends and going out and prefers to stay home alone. 
>>She is so introverted that she doesn\'t like making friends or going out and prefers to stay at home alone.
OR: She is an introvert who doesn\'t like going out to meet people and prefers to stay at home by herself.
so I have been encouraging her to exercise but she hasn\'t.
>>So, I have been encouraging her to exercise, but she hasn\'t.
But recently, I was so happy to hear from my elder daughter that she finally started Pilates.
>>Correct
OR: But recently, my elder daughter told me that she started doing Pilates which made me happy.
I know that Pilates is a type of yoga and is very popular with young Korean women.
>>I know that Pilates is a type of yoga and is very popular among young Korean women.
I hope she keeps doing Pilates and that it makes her healthy and outgoing.
>>I hope she continues doing Pilates. And hopefully it makes her healthy and outgoing.

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