What worries you most about online security? Why?

2019-05-09 · 첨삭 강사 Fiona

학생이 쓴 원문

What worries me most is that my information is known to others. it is used for crime. A few years ago, my face book was hacked. so, my information was known to others. One of them texted X-colleage and ask him to send the money. So, I revoked the membership.

강사 첨삭

Good evening! 
It\'s raining hard today here in my city, so gloomy :( 
Anyway, here\'s the corrections for your homework Mr. [이름]^^ 

What worries you most about online security? Why?

What worries me most is that my information is known to others. 
>>What worries me most is that my information will be made known to others.
it is used for crime. 
>>It\'s used in crime.
A few years ago, my face book was hacked. 
>>A few years ago, my Facebook was hacked.
so, my information was known to others. 
>>So my information became known to others.
One of them texted X-colleage and ask him to send the money.
>>One of them texted my former colleague and asked him to send money. 
So, I revoked the membership.
>>So, I deactivated my account. 

What happened to your colleague was pretty scary! Did he send some money? What happened? 

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·