When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is point
학생이 쓴 원문
Our ancestors used to use stones or bronze for various purpose such as cut meats or killing it but we don\'t use it anymore for same goals. If something new invented, new skills or things will be implemented in our life after several trial and error. Many people have lost their jobs during industrial revolution which machines has been installed. It looked disaster for the world but another new jobs created and we have been living in the better environment because of developments. We also have tried to keep traditional skills, building and way of life, for example, HanOk, traditional house in Korea, people who are talented in specific field even though machines can do it. There are a lot of mysterious architectures in the world and we still didn\'t know how our ancestors built it. I think we have many things to learn from the past. We have to look over everything in the past and take things that might be helpful for us and we need to find out something which has to throw away.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Mr. [이름]! ^^ Thank you for doing your homework smartly! Continue to improve your writing skills and keep going with your ideas! Have a nice day!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Our ancestors used to use stones or bronze for various purpose such as cut meats or killing it but we don\'t use it anymore for same goals.
>>> Our ancestors used to use stones or bronze for various purposes such as cut to cut meat or to kill animals but we don\'t use them anymore for the same reasons.
If something new invented, new skills or things will be implemented in our life after several trial and error.
>>> If something new is invented, new skills or things will be implemented in our life after several trials and errors.
Many people have lost their jobs during industrial revolution which machines has been installed.
>>> Many people have lost their jobs during industrial revolution when machines had been installed.
It looked disaster for the world but another new jobs created and we have been living in the better environment because of developments.
>>> It may seem a disaster for the world but another new jobs created and we have been living in a better environment because of developments.
We also have tried to keep traditional skills, building and way of life, for example, HanOk, traditional house in Korea, people who are talented in specific field even though machines can do it.
>>> CORRECT
There are a lot of mysterious architectures in the world and we still didn\'t know how our ancestors built it.
>>> There are a lot of mysterious architectures in the world and we still didn\'t know how our ancestors built them.
I think we have many things to learn from the past.
>>> CORRECT
We have to look over everything in the past and take things that might be helpful for us and we need to find out something which has to throw away.
>>> We have to look over everything in the past and take things that might be helpful for us and we need to find out something which is to be thrown away.
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