When do you prefer having a family gathering?

2024-11-18 · 첨삭 강사 Jenna

학생이 쓴 원문

I prefer having a family gathering when we go to places that because of listening musics. I like to listen musics and talk about that. We sometimes go to a live jazz bar far from our house which takes one-one half hours. However it takes long time, I loved to go there because we can spend whole time together and can figured out new music. Additionally we go to a Cafe which plays classical music on LP. Whenever we go there, we read books individually and then eat maeuntang : fish stew in a famous restaurant near the Cafe.

강사 첨삭

Hey, [이름]! That sounds like a wonderful way to spend time with your family! I love how you enjoy discovering new music together and the mix of jazz, classical, and even a tasty meal afterward. Keep sharing your experiences!
~T. Jenna

I prefer having a family gathering when we go to places that because of listening musics. 
>>I prefer having family gatherings when we go to places because of the music.
OR
>> I prefer family gatherings at places where we can immerse ourselves in the music.
I like to listen musics and talk about that. 
>>I like to listen to music and talk about it.
OR
>>I enjoy losing myself in music and then getting into deep conversations about it.
We sometimes go to a live jazz bar far from our house which takes one-one half hours. 
>>We sometimes go to a live jazz bar far from our house, which takes one and a half hours.
OR
>>We sometimes go to a live jazz bar that\'s a world away from our house, taking about an hour and a half.
However it takes long time, I loved to go there because we can spend whole time together and can figured out new music. 
>>Even though it takes a long time, I love going there because we can spend the whole time together and discover new music.
OR
>>Despite the long haul, I’m crazy about going there because it gives us the chance to bond over new tunes and share great moments together.
Additionally we go to a Cafe which plays classical music on LP. 
Correct, or
>>On top of that, we often visit a charming cafe that sets the mood with classical music played on an old-fashioned LP.
Whenever we go there, we read books individually and then eat maeuntang : fish stew in a famous restaurant near the Cafe.
>>Whenever we go there, we read books individually and then eat maeuntang (fish stew) at a famous restaurant near the cafe.
OR
>>Whenever we go, we lose ourselves in books, and then we wrap up the day with a hearty bowl of maeuntang at a well-known spot near the cafe.

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