When they are young, their decision is important to them.

Hi there again [이름]!

Thank you for sending this essay, I am impressed because you gave a lot of examples. Great!

I think for teenagers, we should follow what the older people want us to do but we should also know if it is right or wrong.

We can tell them our feelings. We should be open for advices because it will be good for us.

Let us talk more about this in class. See you!

Please go over the corrections below. Take Care!
Teacher Nina

It is very important to choose their way.

>> Did you mean: It is very important for them to choose what they want.
Especially, If they are young, importance of decision is more high.

>> Especially if they are young, making a decision is really important.

If their adults don\'t give advise for their decision, they might go wrong way.

>> If the adults don\'t give them advice they might go the wrong way.

>> OR: If adults don\'t give advices, they might take the wrong way.
For example, they might be addicted smoking, drugging. and they execute crime.

>> Did you mean: For example, they might be addicted to smoking, drugs and they might commit crimes.
It is just one say for adults, but It can change one\'s life.

>> Did you mean: It is just one of the example for adults, but it can change one\'s life.

>> OR: It is just simple for adults, but it can change someone\'s life.
In eastern society, there is the story about education.

>> There is a story about Education in the Eastern society.
the main story is that mother try to move their home because of circumstance.

>> The story was, the mother tried to move to another place because of some circumstances. 

>> OR: The story was about a mother who moved to another place because of some circumstances.
they decided to move because the location of home is near tombs.

>> They decided to move because the location of their house is near the tombs. 
and mother moved to near restaurant, and son learned motion of drunken people.

>> The mother moved to a place near a restaurant and the son learned the practice of the people who are drunk.
and then mother moved their home near school. 

>> Then, the mother moved to a house near a school.
Finally son grew up rightly.

>>  Did you mean: Finally, the son grew up with good manners.
So, the decision which is choosed from their adult or relatives is good for their future.

>> So, the decisions which are chosen by adults or relatives are good for their future.
>> OR; So, the decisions made by adults or relatives for teenagers are good for them.