Where do you love to live?

Hi there [이름]!

How is it going?

Well, I read your essay and I was impressed because you were able to convey your message clearly.

There are just some thing that I want you to remember. Kindly review the proper cases of words.

Do not capitalize the beginning of words in mid sentence unless they are proper nouns

I hope you will review the corrections below.

See you on Wednesday!

~Teacher Shanee^^,

I partly agree with that opinion.

>>> Correct!
 Because, In usual, The Opportunity that usual unemployed person wants to achieve their goal is in a city.

>>> Because in reality, more job opportunities are found in cities.

And the city leads to mainstream, have many of convenient transportation system, and so on.

>>> And cities provide comfortable  and convenient transportation.

So, Many of them love to live in a city.

>>> So, many people love to live in a city.

I think that is a common opinion. 

>>> Correct!

 But, Some people think in a difference ways.

>>> But some people think in different ways.

In usual, Adult who is retired their company wants to live in a countryside.

>>> Normally, retired people want to live in the countryside.

Because of expensive home rental fee, Loud atmosphere, and just love to countryside that itself is.

>>> Some of their reasons why they want to live in the countryside are the cost of living is lower, the place is more peaceful and the air is cleaner.

 So I think It depends on what object is questioned.

>>> So, I think it depends on  what the objective is.

In my case, I’d love to live in a city until now.

>>> Correct!

Because my career needs to grow in this circumstance where many of opportunities are in.

>>> Because I believe that in the city, I will be able to grow my career.

But It seems to be changed someday when I be an adult who is fulfilling my own responsibilities.

>>> But my opinion may change someday when I am older and have my own responsibilities to fulfill.