Where in the world would you most like to go for your next vacation?

2015-04-05 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

There are too many countries and cities where I would like to go on a vacation to. I like to visit European countries and South America such as Paris, Austria, Argentina, Paraguay, Chile and Brazil. I also like to visit the Middle East countries like Cairo, Dubai and so on. It would be fun visiting African countries like Tanzania although it would be dangerous and need vaccination before entering the countries. It would be wonderful if I can afford to take such trips both financially, physically and time wise. When I travel, the thing that draws my attention the most is uncivilized nature, customs, and the way of people’s living that is far from the way that we’re used to. When I see the local people who still rely on the traditional way without support from modern technologies, I feel sympathy for their suffering and the other hand, I feel gratitude for what I have. In order to forget about daily grinds completely, a peaceful island like Fiji or Maldives would be a perfect place.

강사 첨삭

Wow! I want to visit European countries too.
But it costs a lot of money.
I really want to treat my parents, they want to go to \"Holy Land\".
The good thing about visiting other country is learning about their culture and it teaches us to be thankful for what we have.
I hope that you will be able to visit those countries, Sir [이름].
Think positive. Keep on dreaming and don\'t forget to keep an eye on your goal. 
Teacher Nina

There are too many countries and cities where I would like to go on a vacation to. 
>> correct
>> There are a lot of countries and cities where i would like to travel to.
I like to visit European countries and South America such as Paris, Austria, Argentina, Paraguay, Chile and Brazil. 
>> correct
I also like to visit the Middle East countries like Cairo, Dubai and so on. 
>> correct
It would be fun visiting African countries like Tanzania although it would be dangerous and need vaccination before entering the countries. 
>> correct
>> It would be fun visiting African countries like Tanzania, although it would be dangerous and I need to be vaccinated before entering the country. 
It would be wonderful if I can afford to take such trips both financially, physically and time wise. 
>> correct
When I travel, the thing that draws my attention the most is uncivilized nature, customs, and the way of people’s living that is far from the way that we’re used to.
>> correct
When I see the local people who still rely on the traditional way without support from modern technologies, I feel sympathy for their suffering and the other hand, I feel gratitude for what I have. 
>> correct
>> When I see the local people who still rely on the traditional way without support from modern technologies, I feel sympathy for their suffering. And on the other hand, I feel blessed for the things I have.
In order to forget about daily grinds completely, a peaceful island like Fiji or Maldives would be a perfect place.
>> correct

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