Where would you like to go for an adventure a jungle, a desert, a small island, or a city?

2018-12-11 · 첨삭 강사 Shelly

학생이 쓴 원문

I love a travel all of the world. If I go to for an adventure, I want to go a small island. I love island,because not to crowed ,as well as very peaceful.I went many island. One of the best place was the Lanai island .There is located in Hawaii. The Hawaii have six island. Most of island are very busy also commercialized. Because the Hawaii is a tourist attraction. The Lanai is only one hotel.There is no traffic light and there are couple of small restaurants. I saw many beautiful trees, fruits, birds, an animals, By the way I went to place was Bill gates engagement area view was breath taking. As well as weather was unbelievable beautiful. I love nature.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]nah!

I want to go to a small island too for an adventure. I also love nature. T[이름]k you for sharing and have a blessed day!


-Teacher Shelly-



I love a travel all of the world.

>>> I love to travel the world.

If I go to for an adventure, I want to go a small island.

>>>If I\'ll go for an adventure, I want to go to a small island.
 I love island,because not to crowed ,as well as very peaceful.

>>> I love an island because it is not crowded and as well as it is very peaceful.

I went many island.

>>> I went to many islands.
 One of the best place was the Lanai island .

>>> One of the best places was Lanai Island.

There is located in Hawaii.

>>> It is located in Hawaii.
 The Hawaii have six island.

>>> Hawaii has six islands.

 Most of island are very busy also commercialized.

>>> Most of the islands are very busy and commercialized.
 Because the Hawaii is a tourist attraction.

>>> Hawaii is a tourist attraction.

The Lanai is only one hotel.

>>> Lanai has only one hotel.

There is no traffic light and there are couple of small restaurants.

>>> There is no traffic light and there are a couple of small restaurants.

I saw many beautiful trees, fruits, birds, an animals, 

>>> I saw many beautiful trees, fruits, birds and animals.

By the way I went to place was Bill gates engagement area view was breath taking.

>>> By the way, I went the Bill Gates engagement area, the view was breathtaking.
 As well as weather was unbelievable beautiful.

>>> As well as the weather was unbelievably beautiful.

I love nature.

>>> Correct!

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