Which famous celebrity influenced you the most and why?

2022-02-28 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

My favorite influencer is a Monk Beopryun. He is a Buddhist and delivers a lecture on the subject of happiness. He is a golden youtuber who has more than 1 million subscribers. I first got to know about him by TV program. He showed in a healing camp program and delivered impacting messages of happiness and the way how we can live wisely. I was so enlightened and impressed with his words and shed tears of enlightenment. His ultimate goal looks like the reunification of South and North Korea. The reason I follow his footstep is he has no interest. And he is humorous. His speech makes me laugh and the conversation between him and the audiences gives me comfort and hope. Thanks to him, my attitude toward life and people has executed utterly a 180-degree turn.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]:)

Oh, I\'ve never heard of this person. This made me  curious. I will search for him more and listen to his speeches. He sounds like a terrific guy. 

PS: I wish he could influence more people like you. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

My favorite influencer is a Monk Beopryun.
>> CORRECT

He is a Buddhist and delivers a lecture on the subject of happiness. 
>> CORRECT

He is a golden youtuber who has more than 1 million subscribers.
>> CORRECT

I first got to know about him by TV program. 
>>I first got to know about him by a TV program. 

He showed in a healing camp program and delivered impacting messages of happiness and the way how we can live wisely.
>> He showed in a healing camp program and delivered impacting messages of happiness and ways on how we can live wisely.

I was so enlightened and impressed with his words and shed tears of enlightenment.
>> CORRECT

His ultimate goal looks like the reunification of South and North Korea.
>> CORRECT

The reason I follow his footstep is he has no interest.
>> The reason why I follow his footstep is because he has no interests. 

And he is humorous. 
>> He is also humorous. 

His speech makes me laugh and the conversation between him and the audiences gives me comfort and hope.
>> CORRECT

Thanks to him, my attitude toward life and people has executed utterly a 180-degree turn.
>> CORRECT

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