Who are you most proud of among your relatives? Who do you look up to?

2023-05-18 · 첨삭 강사 Caitlyn

학생이 쓴 원문

I respect all my relatives but among them, I especially proud of my third aunt. She and her husband always share their property. For example, they give their products like vegetables, fruits, and grains from their small farm to relatives including my family. Even though all of my relatives are living far apart, third aunt and her husband go to parcel service in person and send them one by one to each relatives\' houses. I learned from them the real rich is not just having a lot but sharing a lot. I heard from my mother that they had suffered from severe poverty in the past but they didn\'t stop to giving even during such hard time. Also, they sometimes donate to charity and pay taxes the most in city they live. They are honest and kind people. I think that\\\'s the point they are flourishing now. So I decided to share something to someone willingly from now on. And to add my thoughts, I think the sweet potatoes grown on their farm are the best sweetness in the world.

강사 첨삭

Hi, Ko [이름]! 
Thank you for always being open when it comes to your composition. I would say that what your aunt is doing is actually something nice and selfless. You said you will start following their examples and I am rooting for you.
-T. Caitlyn
I respect all my relatives but among them, I especially proud of my third aunt. 
>>  I respect all my relatives but I am most proud of my third aunt.
She and her husband always share their property. 
>> CORRECT
For example, they give their products like vegetables, fruits, and grains from their small farm to relatives including my family. 
>> CORRECT
Even though all of my relatives are living far apart, third aunt and her husband go to parcel service in person and send them one by one to each relatives\' houses. 
>> Even though all of my relatives live far apart, my third aunt and her husband would go to the parcel service stations and send packages to the houses of each of our relatives.
I learned from them the real rich is not just having a lot but sharing a lot. 
>> I learned from them that true richness is not just about having a lot, but also about sharing a lot.
I heard from my mother that they had suffered from severe poverty in the past but they didn\'t stop to giving even during such hard time. 
>> I heard from my mother that they suffered from severe poverty in the past but that didn\'t stop them in giving even when they are having a hard time.
Also, they sometimes donate to charity and pay taxes the most in city they live. 
>> Also, they sometimes donate to charities and are one of the highest tax payers in the city they live in.
They are honest and kind people. 
>> CORRECT
I think that\\\'s the point they are flourishing now. 
>> I think that is the reason why they are flourishing now.
So I decided to share something to someone willingly from now on.
>> So, I decided to willingly share something to others from now on.
And to add my thoughts, I think the sweet potatoes grown on their farm are the best sweetness in the world.
>> Just an additional, their sweet potatoes are the sweetest in the world.

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