Why do people become famous?
학생이 쓴 원문
There are a lot of different opinions on topic, but I think an appreance and a talent are the most important parts which attract people
First of all, having an fascinating visual can make the crowd interesting. many celebrities get plastic surgery or be on cruel diet to appeal to the viewers. Although It would give a negative effect on society, Unfortunately, it is still true that this hazardous beauty standard remains.
Last but not least, a skill is also viewed as what famous people should have. Because, unless they are talented, even if they have a beautiful appearance, audience will might loose their interest and not give even a glance at them. For there reasons, I think a good-looking and an ability are what make people famous.
강사 첨삭
Hi, Su In! You did a great job sharing your ideas about why people become famous! I like how you mentioned both appearance and talent, because those are really important factors. I also really appreciate your effort in expanding your ideas. Keep up the excellent work while we work on your grammar accuracy and lexical resources.
~T. Jenna
There are a lot of different opinions on topic, but I think an appreance and a talent are the most important parts which attract people.
>>There are a lot of different opinions on this topic, but I think appearance and talent are the most important parts that attract people.
First of all, having an fascinating visual can make the crowd interesting.
First of all, having an fascinating visual can make the crowd interesting.
>>First of all, having a fascinating appearance can make the crowd interested.
Many celebrities get plastic surgery or be on cruel diet to appeal to the viewers.
Correct, or
>>Many celebrities even undergo plastic surgery or follow strict diets to appeal to their audience.
Although It would give a negative effect on society, Unfortunately, it is still true that this hazardous beauty standard remains.
>>Although it has a negative effect on society, unfortunately, it is still true that this hazardous beauty standard remains.
>>Although it has a negative effect on society, unfortunately, it is still true that this hazardous beauty standard remains.
Last but not least, a skill is also viewed as what famous people should have.
>>Last but not least, skill is also viewed as what famous people should have.
OR
>> Last but not least, skill is also seen as something that famous people should have
Because, unless they are talented, even if they have a beautiful appearance, audience will might loose their interest and not give even a glance at them.
>>This is because unless they are talented, even if they have a beautiful appearance, the audience might lose interest and not even give them a glance.
For there reasons, I think a good-looking and an ability are what make people famous.
>>For these reasons, I think good looks and ability are what make people famous.
***
There are many opinions about why people become famous, but I believe appearance and talent are the two main reasons. Firstly, having an attractive appearance can capture the public’s attention. Many celebrities even undergo plastic surgery or follow strict diets to maintain their image, and although this has negative effects on society, such beauty standards unfortunately still exist. Secondly, talent is also very important. Without real ability, even the most beautiful celebrities may quickly lose the interest of their audience. For these reasons, I think both good looks and talent are the main factors that make people famous.
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