Why do you think Australia is currently experiencing a crisis on bushfires?

2020-01-13 · 첨삭 강사 Lucy

학생이 쓴 원문

Bushfires of Australia started in September and it has lasted still. Many experts said cause of this bushfires is climate change. Australia suffered bushfires every year because of El Nino. But average temperature of Australia is increasing continuously due to climate change. Because high temperature is satisfied necessary condition which is ignition point. Also, flame is spread out far die to strong wind. Moreover, smog is occurred by bushfire make a cumulonimbus. A cumulonimbus is also occurred to lightening and can cause new bushfire. Furthermore, it become difficult environment to rain. I also think this situation is worse by Australia government. Last year, Korea government solved forest fire through a quick response to send whole country’s firefighter without minimum. resource. But president of Australia went on vacation during continuing bushfire. They didn’t recognize danger of situation so, they can’t respond properly and rapid.

강사 첨삭

Thank you Se [이름]!

~Teacher Lucy


Bushfires of Australia started in September and it has lasted still.

>>CORRECT!
Many experts said cause of this bushfires is climate change.

>>Many experts said cause of bushfires climate change became severe.

 Australia suffered bushfires every year because of El Nino.

>>CORRECT!

 But average temperature of Australia is increasing continuously due to climate change.

>>CORRECT!

Because high temperature is satisfied necessary condition which is ignition point.

>>CORRECT!

 Also, flame is spread out far die to strong wind.

>> Also, flame is spread out far due to strong wind.

 Moreover, smog is occurred by bushfire make a cumulonimbus.

>>Moreover, smog is occurred by bushfire and make cumulonimbus.

A cumulonimbus is also occurred to lightening and can cause new bushfire.

>>CORRECT!

 Furthermore, it become difficult environment to rain.
>> Furthermore, it become more difficult to rain.
I also think this situation is worse by Australia government.

>>I also think this situation is worsen by Australia government.

Last year, Korea government solved forest fire through a quick response to send whole country’s firefighter without minimum. resource.

>>Last year, Korea government solved forest fire through a quick response to send whole country’s firefighters without minimum resources.

But president of Australia went on vacation during continuing bushfire.

>>CORRECT!

They didn’t recognize danger of situation so, they can’t respond properly and rapid.

>>They didn’t recognize danger of situation so, they can’t respond properly and rapidly.

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