Why do you think Paralympics was created and established? Does it help people with disabilities? In

2020-02-07 · 첨삭 강사 Lucy

학생이 쓴 원문

Paralympic started from small groups consisted of soldiers who became paraplegic because of the Second World War. Dr.Guttmann made exercise for recovering patients. So, Paralympic was named from paraplegic and Olympic. However, now, the meaning of name changed parallel which they don’t differ with non-disabled people after players form other disabled people. Disorder make people hard at daily life. Especially people who are disabled suddenly may suffer not only physical pain but also mental pain. Because they are restricted something. It makes people lethargic and negative. I think Paralympic give them goal. Goal makes people alive. Also, Disabled people will feel that they can do anything. They will have the reason why they live through the Paralympic. Furthermore, they will exercise to win the game. Exercise is good medicine to cure depression. Thus, Paralympic will make them to overcome physical and mental pain.

강사 첨삭

Thank you Se [이름]!

~Teacher Lucy


Paralympic started from small groups consisted of soldiers who became paraplegic because of the Second World War.

>>CORRECT!

Dr.Guttmann made exercise for recovering patients.

>>Dr. [Name] made exercises for recovering patients.

 So, Paralympic was named from paraplegic and Olympic.

>>CORRECT!

However, now, the meaning of name changed parallel which they don’t differ with non-disabled people after players form other disabled people.
>>CORRECT!
Disorder make people hard at daily life.

>>CORRECT!

Especially people who are disabled suddenly may suffer not only physical pain but also mental pain.

>>CORRECT!

 Because they are restricted something.

>> Because they are restricted into doing something.

It makes people lethargic and negative. 
>>CORRECT!
I think Paralympic give them goal.

>>I think Paralympic give them goals.

Goal makes people alive.

>>CORRECT!

Also, Disabled people will feel that they can do anything.

>>CORRECT!

 They will have the reason why they live through the Paralympic.

>>CORRECT!

 Furthermore, they will exercise to win the game.

>>CORRECT!

Exercise is good medicine to cure depression.

>>CORRECT!

 Thus, Paralympic will make them to overcome physical and mental pain.

>>CORRECT!

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