Why do you think people worry about aging?

2022-04-20 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

When I was a teenager, I really wanted to be a adult because it was exhausted to study a lot of subjects for entering a university and parents used to be nagging to children for their future life. Young people are sick and tired to hear nag from their parents. However, most people realize that it is the happiest morment as they are young because we usually have more concerns while we are getting old. We are worried about our health if they reach more than 50th because we can easily feel like something wrong in their body. We have experienced that even it\'s a small would, it is not cured like when we were young. Some people feel like that they are the age which is close to the death. We want to live as long as possible if god allows us to live more, but every person will die someday and we have fear of it. Physical appearance is also a major concern, so people get a lot of treatment to improve and to keep their appearance.

강사 첨삭

Good day, Sir [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

When I was a teenager, I really wanted to be a adult because it was exhausted to study a lot of subjects for entering a university and parents used to be nagging to children for their future life. 
>> When I was a teenager, I really wanted to be an adult because it was exhausted to study a lot of subjects for entering a university, and parents used to be nagging to children for their future life. 
Young people are sick and tired to hear nag from their parents. 
>> CORRECT!
However, most people realize that it is the happiest morment as they are young because we usually have more concerns while we are getting old. 
>> However, most people realize that it is the happiest moment of their lives when they are young, because we usually have more concerns as we get older. 
We are worried about our health if they reach more than 50th because we can easily feel like something wrong in their body. 
>> We are worried about our health if they reach more than 50 years of age because we can easily feel like something is wrong in our body. 
We have experienced that even it\'s a small would, it is not cured like when we were young. 
>> We have experienced that even it\'s a small wound, it is not cured like when we were young. 
Some people feel like that they are the age which is close to the death. 
>> Some people feel like that their age is close to death. 
We want to live as long as possible if god allows us to live more, but every person will die someday and we have fear of it. 
>> CORRECT!
Physical appearance is also a major concern, so people get a lot of treatment to improve and to keep their appearance.
>> CORRECT!

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