Why do you think some people never try to quit their vices?
학생이 쓴 원문
I think that some people consistently do their vices because they don\'t know their action is a vice.
I think some vices are acceptable to someone, and there is no problem if they don\'t causes harm to other. For example, drinking alchole usually known as vices, but it doen\'t matter if we enjoy it and drink properly. Like this, although we think their action is vice, they might have differnt opinion.
However, in some cases, even though their actions harm others, they don\'t correct their vices. If then, maybe anyone didn\'t tell them what was wrong. And it is really sad situation because they don\'t have closed friend who sincerely advice to them.
강사 첨삭
You shared thoughtful ideas and showed good insight into why people may not quit their vices. I like how you explained that some behaviors can be seen differently depending on personal values, and your example about drinking made your point clear and realistic. You also showed empathy by mentioning how a lack of honest advice from close friends can affect people’s behavior. Overall, your reasoning was balanced and mature, and your explanation was easy to follow. Keep practicing, your ideas are strong, and with small grammar improvements, your writing will become even more effective.
-Teacher Wela
I think that some people consistently do their vices because they don\'t know their action is a vice.
>> I think some people continue their vices because they do not realize that their actions are vices.
I think some vices are acceptable to someone, and there is no problem if they don\'t causes harm to other
>> I think some vices are acceptable to certain people, and there is no problem if they do not cause harm to others.
For example, drinking alchole usually known as vices, but it doen\'t matter if we enjoy it and drink properly.
>> For example, drinking alcohol is usually known as a vice, but it does not matter if we enjoy it and drink responsibly.
Like this, although we think their action is vice, they might have differnt opinion.
>> In this way, although we think their actions are vices, they might have a different opinion.
However, in some cases, even though their actions harm others, they don\'t correct their vices.
>> However, in some cases, even though their actions harm others, they do not try to correct their vices.
If then, maybe anyone didn\'t tell them what was wrong.
>> If so, maybe no one told them what was wrong.
And it is really sad situation because they don\'t have closed friend who sincerely advice to them.
>> This is a really sad situation because they do not have close friends who sincerely advise them.
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