Wild animals
학생이 쓴 원문
Have you ever went to go to A zoo? I never went to a zoo in my whole life! But do you agree wild animals should be kept on zoo? Well...I think only rare wild animals should be kept in zoos. But,why?If you are curious, read more!First, very rare wild animals should be kept in zoos,There are not much of them so we must take care of rare wild animals.We must not let them die out.Second,rare animals need some scientific inspection. We need to know as many animals as possible, to understand more about nature. Nature has many secrets so rare animals might have the key. Third,when these rare wild animals all disappear it can have huge impacts on the food pyramid.Many rare wild animals are saved and sent to safe zoos to be taught to live and help them.In conclusion,I think only rare wild animals should be kept in zoos.It is for the environment and the animals!Also it is for scientific reasons.Then,what do you think?
강사 첨삭
Hello, Rose! Thank you for sharing this. Here are your corrections. Please have a good day ahead!
T. Matt
Have you ever went to go to A zoo?
>> Have you ever been to a zoo?
>> Have you ever visited a zoo?
I never went to a zoo in my whole life!
>>Correct
>> I\'ve never been to a zoo in my whole life!
But do you agree wild animals should be kept on zoo?
>>But do you agree that wild animals should be kept in a zoo?
>>But do you agree that wild animals should be kept in zoos?
Well...I think only rare wild animals should be kept in zoos.
>>Well, I think only rare wild animals should be kept in zoos.
But,why?If you are curious, read more!
>>Correct
First, very rare wild animals should be kept in zoos,There are not much of them so we must take care of rare wild animals.
>>First, very rare wild animals should be kept in zoos because there are not much of them so we must take care of rare wild animals.
We must not let them die out.
>>Correct
Second,rare animals need some scientific inspection.
>>Correct
We need to know as many animals as possible, to understand more about nature.
>>Correct
Nature has many secrets so rare animals might have the key.
>>Correct
>> Nature hold many secrets and rare animals might be the key.
Third,when these rare wild animals all disappear it can have huge impacts on the food pyramid.
>>Third,when these rare wild animals all disappear, it can have huge impacts on the food pyramid.
>>Third,when these rare wild animals all disappear, it can have huge impacts on the food chain.
Many rare wild animals are saved and sent to safe zoos to be taught to live and help them.
>>Correct
>>Many rare wild animals are saved and sent to safe zoos to help them and to be taught to live.
In conclusion,I think only rare wild animals should be kept in zoos.
>>Correct
It is for the environment and the animals!
>>Correct
Also it is for scientific reasons.
>>Also, it is for scientific reasons.
>>Also, it is for scientific purposes.
Then,what do you think?
>>Correct
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