Will appreciate if you could check below.

2015-09-23 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

I hope you had a great Chuseok holiday and thank you so much for making time out of your hectic schedule to attend this session. My name is [Name] working for Customer Care and Aftersales. Actually, today’s session is not training, but a sort of the User Orientation session to help you be familiar with your vehicle because you are now driving CTS. First, we’ll be spending the first half an hour to talk about CTS key features and CUE system. And then, for the last half an hour, we’ll get into a car and try to manipulate some switches and check some functions if you have time. Another topic. It is not impossible to have a happy family and a successful career at the same time theoretically. Actually we can see many people around us who are having or had a successful life both at work and at home. Although the definition of a happy family and a successful career may vary by person, I think we can achieve both goals unless we pursue a CEO of a big company. What is a success???

강사 첨삭

Good afternoon, Sir [이름]!

How are you? Thank you so much for your time and wonderful insights.

I appreciate that you always make some time to write an essay.

You did a wonderful job again with your composition. Great!

Please go over the corrections and suggested sentences below.

Have a great day.

Teacher Nina

I hope you had a great Chuseok holiday and thank you so much for making time out of your hectic schedule to attend this session.

>> correct

>> OR: I hope that you will have a great Chuseok holiday and thank you so much for making time out of your hectic schedule to attend this session.

My name is [Name] working for Customer Care and Aftersales.

>> correct

Actually, today’s session is not training, but a sort of the User Orientation session to help you be familiar with your vehicle because you are now driving CTS.

>> Actually, today’s session is not a training, but a sort of a User Orientation session to help you to be familiar with your vehicle because you are now driving CTS.

>> OR: Actually, today’s session is not a training, but a sort of a User Orientation session that will help you to be familiar with your vehicle because you are now driving CTS.

First, we’ll be spending the first half an hour to talk about CTS key features and CUE system.

>> correct

>> OR: First. we\'ll be spending the first thirty minutes to talk about CTS key features and CUE system.

And then, for the last half an hour, we’ll get into a car and try to manipulate some switches and check some functions if you have time.

>> correct

Another topic.

>> correct

It is not impossible to have a happy family and a successful career at the same time theoretically.

>> correct

>> OR: Theoretically, it is not impossible to have a happy family and a successful career at the same time.

Actually we can see many people around us who are having or had a successful life both at work and at home.

>> correct

Although the definition of a happy family and a successful career may vary by person, I think we can achieve both goals unless we pursue a CEO of a big company.

>> correct

What is a success???

>> Better: What is success?

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