Women in police or military.
학생이 쓴 원문
It is a common belief that there are some sorts of professions that are exclusively suitable for men, demoralizing women in pursuit of their careers in those jobs. Police and military officer, fire fighter, and athlete of some kinds are major examples. The rationale backing up this argument is that women are not able to physically perform to the same extent as men can normally do. However, I firmly believe that it is an apparent discourse of sexism prevalent in most societies, given that almost every occupations which were considered manly just a couple of decades ago turned out having no problem with women took over men\'s responsibility. Women can handle various tasks as men do, and further, they outperform men in many areas. So, we should stop promoting sexual cleavages and pay attention to the individuals\' aspirations and capabilities. Everyone deserves an equal opportunity to find what s/he is good at, what s/he is interested in, and how to develop oneself, regardless of one\'s sex.
강사 첨삭
Very well said Drexel. I guess I had a misconception of you. ^ ^ I have thought that you would answer siding more on the male as the dominant species/kind. I was wrong!^ ^
-Teacher Jedah
>>CORRECT
Police and military officer, fire fighter, and athlete of some kinds are major examples.
>>CORREC
The rationale backing up this argument is that women are not able to physically perform to the same extent as men can normally do.
>>CORRECT
However, I firmly believe that it is an apparent discourse of sexism prevalent in most societies, given that almost every occupations which were considered manly just a couple of decades ago turned out having no problem with women took over men\'s responsibility.
>>However, I firmly believe that it is an apparent discourse of sexism prevalent in most societies. (this is one sentence)
>>Given that almost every occupation which were considered manly just a couple of decades ago turned out that women taking that responsibility had no problems at all.
Women can handle various tasks as men do, and further, they outperform men in many areas.
>>CORRECT
So, we should stop promoting sexual cleavages and pay attention to the individuals\' aspirations and capabilities.
>>CORRECT
Everyone deserves an equal opportunity to find what s/he is good at, what s/he is interested in, and how to develop oneself, regardless of one\'s sex.
>>CORRECT
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