Would the world be a safer place without nuclear weapons? Will most countries have nuclear weapons o

2014-04-02 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

It will defintely be a safer place if we remove all the neclear weapons. We are now living in the world where our existence is in danger because of the side effects of advanced technologies and conflicts of nations, religions, and politices.Humans' greed for money and power is endless and time will come when we have to pay back for our greed. Natual disasters like land sliding, flood, and the extreme cold or hot weather are the consequences of our actions. The globe is getting warmer and the ozon layer has being destroyed due to the greenhouse gas caused by civilization. Developing and trying to possess the neclear weapons are one of the examples of humans' greed. Although all countries and political leaders are claming that they are striving to protect people's rights, secure peace, and correct income disparity, what they are doing is exactly contrary: they have been developing deadly weapons like nuclear bombs that can extinct all human being and never agree to dispose such weapons.

강사 첨삭

Hello there Sir [이름]! Good evening! What a marvelous composition.^^ Thank you for imparting your thoughts about nuclear weapons. You are right! I hope that someday nuclear weapons will not be a part of our lives. Please be careful with the spelling of the words.^^ You composed simple to complex sentences. Great! See you tomorrow. Have a enough rest tonight. Take Care! Teacher Nina   It will defintely be a safer place if we remove all the neclear weapons. >> Correct ( Spelling check: nuclear ^^) >> OR: Indeed, it will be a safer place if we get rid of all the nuclear weapons. We are now living in the world where our existence is in danger because of the side effects of advanced technologies and conflicts of nations, religions, and politices. >> We are now living in the world where our existence is in danger because of the side effects of advanced technologies and conflicts of nations, religions, and politics. Humans\' greed for money and power is endless and time will come when we have to pay back for our greed. >> Correct >> OR: Humans\' greed for money and power is endless and the time will come when we have to pay back for our greed. Natual disasters like land sliding, flood, and the extreme cold or hot weather are the consequences of our actions. >> Natural disasters like land slides, flood, and extreme cold or hot weather are the consequences of our actions. The globe is getting warmer and the ozon layer has being destroyed due to the greenhouse gas caused by civilization. >> The globe is getting warmer and the ozone layer is being destroyed due to the greenhouse gas caused by civilization. Developing and trying to possess the neclear weapons are one of the examples of humans\' greed. >> Developing and trying to possess the nuclear weapons are one of the examples of humans\' greed. Although all countries and political leaders are claming that they are striving to protect people\'s rights, secure peace, and correct income disparity, what they are doing is exactly contrary: they have been developing deadly weapons like nuclear bombs that can extinct all human being and never agree to dispose such weapons. >> Although all countries and political leaders are claming that they are striving to protect people\'s rights, secure peace, and correct income disparity, what they are doing is exactly the contrary: they have been developing deadly weapons like nuclear bombs that can extinct all human being and never agree to dispose such weapons. >> OR: Although all countries and political leaders are claming that they are striving to protect people\'s rights, secure peace, and correct income disparity. In contrary, they have been developing deadly weapons like nuclear bombs that can extinct all human being and never agree to dispose such weapons.

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