Would you prefer to live in a really old historical city, or a really new modern city?
학생이 쓴 원문
I prefer to live in a new modern city than an old historical city.
There are some reasons.
First, I can enjoy my life.
In a modern city, there are a lot of facilities like museums, department stores, aquariums, conventional halls, and so on.
By visiting various facilities, I can release my stress and refresh myself from a busy life.
Next, living in a really new modern city is more comfortable than living in a really old historical city.
This is because there are many old things to use in an old city.
We can\'t use them because they are very precious things to commemorate, and also even we can use them, they are very uncomfortable.
I think we should preserve these antique things, not using them.
Also, we can live safely in a new modern city.
They have a lot of CCTVs and the most advanced computer technology to protect our lives.
However, we can be stolen something because of lack of technology.
Therefore, I hope to live in a really new modern city, not a really old historical city.
강사 첨삭
Hi Chloe!
Here are the corrections.
I prefer to live in a new modern city than an old historical city. There are some reasons. First, I can enjoy my life.
>>Correct!
In a modern city, there are a lot of facilities like museums, department stores, aquariums, conventional halls, and so on. By visiting various facilities, I can release my stress and refresh myself from a busy life.
>>Correct!
Next, living in a really new modern city is more comfortable than living in a really old historical city. This is because there are many old things to use in an old city.
>>Next, living in a really new modern city is more comfortable than living in a really old historical city. This is because there are many old things to use in an old city which is not convenient.
We can\'t use them because they are very precious things to commemorate, and also even we can use them, they are very uncomfortable. I think we should preserve these antique things, not using them.
>>We can\'t use them because they are very precious things to commemorate, and they are very uncomfortable. I think we should preserve these antique things, not using them.
Also, we can live safely in a new modern city. They have a lot of CCTVs and the most advanced computer technology to protect our lives.
>>Correct!
However, we can be stolen something because of lack of technology. Therefore, I hope to live in a really new modern city, not a really old historical city.
>>In an old historical city, things can be stolen because of lack of technology. Therefore, I hope to live in a really new modern city, not a really old historical city.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.