Would you rather ride an elephant or swim with dolphins?

2019-04-23 · 첨삭 강사 Irene

학생이 쓴 원문

I would rather ride an elephant. cuz I cannot swim that well. Last time I swam was 11years ago. I started to take a swim lesson when I was 8. And I stopped taking a lesson before learning backstroke. Because I got a cold..haha. If I ride an elephant, I can go anywhere in the world. Feels like no one can stop me. cuz elephant is so big that no one can hurt me. And maybe I can share emotions with an elephant. I mean dolphins are also amazing animals on the planet, but an elephant is better for me. Some elephants can draw. Think we can share the drawing together. And I can share my feelings as I did to my parents and friends. As you know, an elephant is an emotional animal. So I would rather ride an elephant than swim with dolphins.

강사 첨삭

Thanks for writing [이름]. I trully appreciate reading about your thoughts as well as hearing them.
Teacher Irene
I would rather ride an elephant.
>>> Correct.
cuz I cannot swim that well.
>>> Coz’ I cannot swim that well.
Last time I swam was 11years ago.
>>> Correct.
I started to take a swim lesson when I was 8. 
>>> I started taking swimming lessons when I was 8. 
And I stopped taking a lesson before learning backstroke.
>>>  And I stopped taking lessons just before I had to learn backstrokes.
Because I got a cold..haha.
>>> Correct.
If I ride an elephant, I can go anywhere in the world.
>>> Correct.
Feels like no one can stop me.
>>> Correct.
>>> It feels like no one can stop me.
 cuz elephant is so big that no one can hurt me.
>>> Coz’ an elephant is so big that no one can hurt me.
And maybe I can share emotions with an elephant. 
>>> Correct.
I mean dolphins are also amazing animals on the planet, but an elephant is better for me.
>>> Correct.
 Some elephants can draw. 
>>> Correct.
Think we can share the drawing together.
>>> I think we can share a drawing together. 
And I can share my feelings as I did to my parents and friends.
>>> And I can share my feelings to them as I do to my parents and friends.
As you know, an elephant is an emotional animal.
>>> Correct.
So I would rather ride an elephant than swim with dolphins.
>>> Correct.

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