Write about one thing that you could do better if you work really hard and exert more effort.

Hi there, [이름]!

Thanks for doing your homework.

Well done here!

You never told me you were planning to be the next Steve Jobs!

Good luck with that! :)

Please check my corrections below.

Ciao!

~Teacher Marie~ ^^

One thing that I could do better if I work really hard and exert more effort is thinking creatively.

>> CORRECT!

Thinking creatively is my best ability.

>> CORRECT!

I like making something brand new and something that anyone cannot think.

>> I like making brand new things and creating something that no one else have thought about.

If I think more creatively and exert more effort into my thinking, probably I am going to be like Steve Jobs.

>> If I think more creatively and exert more effort into thinking, I am probably going to be like Steve Jobs.

From now on, I can be like him.

>> CORRECT!

Also, second thing that I could do better if I study hard and exert more effort is speaking a lot of languages.

>> Another thing that I could do better if I study hard and exert more effort is speaking a lot of languages.

I can speak three languages Korean, of course, Japanese, and English.

>> CORRECT!

I am fluent in Korean and Japanese.

>> CORRECT!

English is improving now.

>> My English is improving now.

If I study hard on only languages, I can speak many languages more than three languages.

>> If I concentrate hard on studying just languages, I can speak more than three languages.

I like speking and talking in other languages, because I can understand their culture and life-style from speaking and learning their own language.

>> I like speaking and talking to other people in different languages because I can understand their culture and lifestyle through this.

Language has powerful influence over people who use their own language.

>> Language has a powerful influence over the people who use it.

When you can speak and talk in their own language, you can understand their mind and heart.

>> When you can speak and talk to them in their language, you can understand their mind and heart.