Write about three specific goals you want to achieve this year.

2021-10-14 · 첨삭 강사 Angelica

학생이 쓴 원문

At first, I should make a program, which it helps to analyze data. My boss and I tried to take a leap forward in this year. That program can be a key to spread our product. Second, I want to lose weight 2 kilograms more. I have been doing exercise for 8 months. I lost 6 kilograms in this year. My goal is losing 8 Kg. My third goal is to keep studying English. Before COVID-19, I had chances to go other countries. It motivated me to study English. I hope to go on a trip to oversea country with my family and parents after COVID-19. And I study English to give motivation to my children.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]ny, 
These sound like great goals, I hope that you will be able to achieve them. I believe in you! 
Regards, 
T. Angelica 
At first, I should make a program, which it helps to analyze data. 
>> My first goal is to make a program that helps analyze data.
My boss and I tried to take a leap forward in this year. 
>> CORRECT
That program can be a key to spread our product.
>> This program can be the key to spread our product. 
Second, I want to lose weight 2 kilograms more. 
>> Second, I want to lose 2 kilograms from my previous weight. 
I have been doing exercise for 8 months. I lost 6 kilograms in this year. 
>> CORRECT 
OR >> I have been exercising for 8 months and I was able to lose 6 kilograms this year. 
My goal is losing 8 Kg.
>> My goal is to lose 8kg. 
My third goal is to keep studying English. 
>> CORRECT 
Before COVID-19, I had chances to go other countries. 
>> CORRECT 
It motivated me to study English. 
>> CORRECT 
I hope to go on a trip to oversea country with my family and parents after COVID-19. 
>> I hope to go on a trip overseas with my family and parents after COVID-19. 
And I study English to give motivation to my children.
>> When I study English, it gives motivation to my children. 

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