Writing an Email
학생이 쓴 원문
Dear [Name]
I have heard that you are considering dropping out of university. I have been impressed by your idea and effort you put into studying hard. In my view, you are the one of outstanding students in my course so I would like you to reconsider to graduate from university.
There are two problems you should think of. First, your future employers will see on your resume that you quit university. They might think that you easily quit doing something important so they will not hire you. Second, the economy right now is not that great. Only a few companies have been hiring. In my opinion, this is not a good time to seeking a job.
These days, most employers prefer to hire someone with university degree. Graduating university will help you to find a job easier. In additions, the economy will get better in a couple year. The more company will start hiring people at that time. Therefore, with these two reasons, I would like you to stay in the university to finish up your degree.
Professor J
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]~
Thank you for your composition. Keep up the good work. If you have any questions about my corrections, please feel free to ask me anytime. See you again in class tomorrow. Have a great day!
Here are your corrections:
Thank you for your composition. Keep up the good work. If you have any questions about my corrections, please feel free to ask me anytime. See you again in class tomorrow. Have a great day!
Here are your corrections:
I have heard that you are considering dropping out of university.
>> CORRECT
I have been impressed by your idea and effort you put into studying hard.
>> CORRECT
In my view, you are the one of outstanding students in my course so I would like you to reconsider to graduate from university.
>> In my view, you are one of the most outstanding students in my course so I would like you to reconsider your choice.
>> There are two problems that will occur if you continue dropping out of the university.
First, your future employers will see on your resume that you quit university.
>> First, your future employers will not acknowledge your resume because you are undergraduate.
They might think that you easily quit doing something important so they will not hire you.
>> They will also thought of you as a quitter since you didn\'t pursue a college degree and with that, they won\'t be hiring you.
Second, the economy right now is not that great.
>> Lastly, the economy is on the edge of the cliff right now so this is not a good time to get a job.
Only a few companies have been hiring. In my opinion, this is not a good time to seeking a job.
>> CORRECT
>> ...with a university..
Graduating university will help you to find a job easier.
>> Graduating will give you huge advantages such as finding job will be easier.
In additions, the economy will get better in a couple year.
>> In addition, the economy will surely get better after a couple of years.
The more company will start hiring people at that time.
>> Thus, more company will look for employees.
Therefore, with these two reasons, I would like you to stay in the university to finish up your degree.
>> With these two reason, I am encouraging you to stay and hopefully complete your degree.
>> With these two reason, I am encouraging you to stay and hopefully complete your degree.
Professor J
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