writing homework

2021-10-11 · 첨삭 강사 Ivy

학생이 쓴 원문

My Happiest Moment In My Life......Most people think that every body have happy moments in their life. Although I also have happy moments, some people believe that being happy is only moment, so the happy moments can\'t be kept in our life forever; However, other people argue that having happy moments is most important when they are in difficult situation because it help people to live with hope; thus, people should live with happy moments even if happiness is not forever. In my opinion, I firmly believe that having happy moments help me to overcome to live in difficult situation such as when I fail the exam. There are happy moments which It is prominent to me. To begin with, having time with friend is one of my happy moment. when I was high school student, I went to amusement park with my best friends. Actually, I had never been to amusement with friends, so I just was happy to be with my friends rather than riding an amusement park rides; Therefore, having a time with friend is good

강사 첨삭

Thank you for taking the time to answer Kevin. Well Done! - Teacher Ivy :)

Most people think that every body have happy moments in their life.

>> Most people think that everybody have happy moments in their life.

Although I also have happy moments, some people believe that being happy is only moment, so the happy moments can\'t be kept in our life forever;

>> Although I also have happy moments, some people believe that being happy is only moment and that happy moments can\'t be kept in our life forever.

However, other people argue that having happy moments is most important when they are in difficult situation because it help people to live with hope;

>>However, other people argue that having happy moments is very important when they are in difficult situation, because it help people to live with hope.

thus, people should live with happy moments even if happiness is not forever.

>> Thus, people should live with happy moments even if happiness is not forever.

In my opinion, I firmly believe that having happy moments help me to overcome to live in difficult situation such as when I fail the exam.

>> In my opinion, I firmly believe that having happy moments help me overcome  difficult situations, such as when I fail the exam.

There are happy moments which It is prominent to me.

>> There are happy moments which are prominent to me.

To begin with, having time with friend is one of my happy moment.

>> To begin with, having time with a friend is one of my happy moments.

when I was high school student, I went to amusement park with my best friends.

>> When I was a high school student, I went to the amusement park with my best friends.

Actually, I had never been to amusement with friends, so I just was happy to be with my friends rather than riding an amusement park rides;

>> Actually, I had never been to an amusement park with friends, so I was just happy to be with my friends rather than riding an amusement park rides.

Therefore, having a time with friend is good

>>  Therefore, spending time with a friend is good.

 

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