Writing quesiton

2019-10-18 · 첨삭 강사 Ally

학생이 쓴 원문

Hi Ally. Is the below letter OK? Thank you see you later Regarding 150EA of 15CC cancellous chips shipped out October 11, 2019, our customer gave us feedback. They have returned 101ea 15CC cancellous chips to us last time which we are waiting for RA. This hospital is a major hospital using this tissue and our competitors are always looking for the opportunity to provide their tissue to this hospital. They expressed their deep disappointment about crushed chips and foreign materials in these tissues this time too, They sent us some pictures mentioning about 70 cancellous chips have issues but took some pictures not all of them as attached. They really wonder if it is really difficult to provide the standard quality meets their expectations without crushed ones and foreign debris. We are now at a critical situation is likely to lose this major hospital. Please advise your valuable opinion on this matter. Thank you.

강사 첨삭

Hi there, Louis!

I will be writing the corrections below. ^^
See you tonight!

~t. Ally

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Regarding 150EA of 15CC cancellous chips shipped out October 11, 2019, our customer gave us feedback.
>> Our customer gave us a feedback regarding the 150EA of 15CC cancellous chips shipped out on October 11, 2019.

They have returned 101ea 15CC cancellous chips to us last time which we are waiting for RA.
>> They have returned 101ea 15CC cancellous chips to us last time, which we are now waiting for in RA.

This hospital is a major hospital using this tissue and our competitors are always looking for the opportunity to provide their tissue to this hospital. They expressed their deep disappointment about crushed chips and foreign materials in these tissues this time too.
>> This hospital is a major hospital using our tissues and our competitors are always looking for the opportunity to provide their tissue to this hospital. They have expressed their deep disappointment about crushed chips and foreign materials found in these tissues this time as well.

They sent us some pictures mentioning about 70 cancellous chips have issues but took some pictures not all of them as attached.
>> They sent us some pictures and mentioned that about 70 cancellous chips have issues, they took some pictures of some, but not all tissues with issues were attached.

They really wonder if it is really difficult to provide the standard quality meets their expectations without crushed ones and foreign debris.
>> They are really wondering if it is really that difficult to provide the standard quality that meets their expectations, one without crushed chips and foreign debris.

We are now at a critical situation is likely to lose this major hospital.
>> We are now at a critical situation and are likely to lose this major hospital.

Please advise your valuable opinion on this matter. Thank you.
>> CORRECT!

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