Writing Task(Apr 21th, 2022)

2022-04-25 · 첨삭 강사 Roanne

학생이 쓴 원문

Can you talk about three of your most prized possessions? I would prioritize my family as first; my beautiful wife and my lovely daughter. They are the reason why I\'m breathing. Yesterday, I was sitting on my camping chair, gazing at my wife drinking a can of beer with a big grin on her face and my daughter eating snacks one after another, sometimes distributing her snacks to a little boy passing by out tent who looked 2 or 3 years younger than her. I could fully feel my inner peace even watching them enjoying themselves by doing what they want to. I could feel how much I love them. The second is my job. Even though I told you that I’m not satisfied with my job, it still has a lot of advantages compared to others. And the last one I most cherish is me. I mean, MYSELF. My soul, my spirit and my body. -Winners never quit. Quitters never win-

강사 첨삭

Hi, U [이름]! 

That\'s indeed wonderful! I\'m happy to know that you enjoyed your trip together with your family. I\'m sure that your daughter and wife appreciates all the efforts you\'ve done for them. It\'s good to know that you cherish yourself because it is really important that you also take good care of yourself, mentally and physically. 

Thank you for sharing!

~T. Roanne ^_^
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I would prioritize my family as first; my beautiful wife and my lovely daughter. 
>> Correct! 
They are the reason why I\'m breathing. 
>> Correct! 
Yesterday, I was sitting on my camping chair, gazing at my wife drinking a can of beer with a big grin on her face and my daughter eating snacks one after another, sometimes distributing her snacks to a little boy passing by out tent who looked 2 or 3 years younger than her. 
>> Correct! 
I could fully feel my inner peace even watching them enjoying themselves by doing what they want to.
>> I could fully feel my inner peace, even watching them enjoying themselves by doing what they want to.
I could feel how much I love them.
>> Correct! 
The second is my job. Even though I told you that I’m not satisfied with my job, it still has a lot of advantages compared to others.
>> Correct! 
And the last one I most cherish is me. I mean, MYSELF. My soul, my spirit and my body.
>> Correct! 

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