Writing Task(Jun 28th, 2022)
학생이 쓴 원문
In your own opinion, Should kids have cell phones?
Yes. kids must have cell phones.
A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones. But I don\'t see that.
I bought my daughter her cell phone this year. She is only 6 years old. However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an imergency with no adults around her. The phone she has has the minimum function : making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
And when she gets older, I will buy her a new mobile phone with more functions.
The first and the foremost reason why I want buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!
강사 첨삭
Hi, U [이름]!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one! Have a good night!
~T. Roanne ^_^
=============================================
Yes. kids must have cell phones.
>> Yes, kids must have cell phones.
A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones. But I don\'t see that.
A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones. But I don\'t see that.
>> Correct! OR A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones, but I don\'t see that.
I bought my daughter her cell phone this year. She is only 6 years old.
I bought my daughter her cell phone this year. She is only 6 years old.
>> Correct!
However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an imergency with no adults around her.
>> However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an emergency with no adults around her.
The phone she has has the minimum function : making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
>> The phone she has has the minimum function: making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
And when she gets older, I will buy her a new mobile phone with more functions.
And when she gets older, I will buy her a new mobile phone with more functions.
>> Correct!
The first and the foremost reason why I want buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!
The first and the foremost reason why I want buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!
>> The first and the foremost reason why I want to buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.