Writing Task(Mar 18th, 2022)
학생이 쓴 원문
How do you feel about helping others?
It feels great.
To have the opportunity to see others feel happy is such a wonderful thing. And if the reason why they smile and laugh is because of me, the wonderfulness is even more.
I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lost of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings. They seemed to have no hope of any reasons to live longer. But for a few days, I and my friends planed to make them happy through, a kind of, performance. We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to loved when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
We watched the seniors fully enjoying themselves with each others, clapping their hands to the songs we sang and humming as if those had been the moments they’d been waiting for a long time. We communicated with each other with no need to say a word.
강사 첨삭
Hi, U [이름]!
Oh, that is so nice of you and your friends. I bet it was one of your wonderful experience in life.
Thank you for sharing!
~T. Roanne ^_^
======================================
It feels great.
>> Correct!
To have the opportunity to see others feel happy is such a wonderful thing.
To have the opportunity to see others feel happy is such a wonderful thing.
>> Correct!
And if the reason why they smile and laugh is because of me, the wonderfulness is even more.
>> Correct!
I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lost of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings.
I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lost of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings.
>>I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lots of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings.
They seemed to have no hope of any reasons to live longer.
>> Correct!
But for a few days, I and my friends planed to make them happy through, a kind of, performance.
>> But for a few days, I and my friends planned to make them happy through, a kind of, performance.
We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to loved when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
>> We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to love when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
We watched the seniors fully enjoying themselves with each others, clapping their hands to the songs we sang and humming as if those had been the moments they’d been waiting for a long time.
We watched the seniors fully enjoying themselves with each others, clapping their hands to the songs we sang and humming as if those had been the moments they’d been waiting for a long time.
>> Correct!
We communicated with each other with no need to say a word.
>> Correct! OR We communicated with each other without a need to say a word.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.