Yes...

2014-06-08 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

I don't have many experiences in my childhood. because time wipe out my old memories.. but there is a special memory which is always in my mind. That was my story about speeching. At that time I was about 6 years old. My mother want me to go educational group and I finally went to go the speech school. So In the morning what I have to do is going to speech school. Having been stared speech about 3-month, I participated in a speech competition. At that time I didn't have any concept of speech, I just memorised it and talked to audience. So I didn't feel fear to be in front of many audience. Finally I finished my speech. My mother felt proud of me and cheered me up for finishing speech. Finally the result was released, and I awarded 2nd prise. I didn't have any expectation about it, but I was happy. and the trophy which I got is still in my room.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]!
Thank you for sharing about it.
I was inspired! It\'s nice that your parents were proud of you.
I am also proud of you because I know you did great.
What was your speech all about? I hope that you are having a great time.
Take Care! Talk to you in class.
Teacher Nina

I don\'t have many experiences in my childhood.
>> Correct!
>> OR: I don\'t have a lot of experiences in my childhood.
because time wipe out my old memories..
>> Because time wiped out my old memories.
but there is a special memory which is always in my mind.
>> Correct!
That was my story about speeching.
>> It was a story about my speech.
>> OR: It was a story about giving a speech. 
At that time I was about 6 years old.
>> Correct!
>> OR: It happened when I was about six years old. 
My mother want me to go educational group and I finally went to go the speech school. 
>> My mother wanted me to go to join an educational group and I finally went to a school to improve my speech.
>> OR: My mother wanted me to enter a school for speech.
So In the morning what I have to do is going to speech school.
>> So, in the morning I had to do is to go to a speech school. 
Having been stared speech about 3-month, I participated in a speech competition.
>> I started learning for about three months and I participated in a speech competition. 
At that time I didn\'t have any concept of speech, I just memorised it and talked to audience. 
>> At that time. I didn\'t have any idea about giving a speech, I just memorized it and imparted it to the audience. ( spelling check: memorize ^^)
So I didn\'t feel fear to be in front of many audience.
>> So. I didn\'t feel scared to be in front of a lot of audience.
>> OR: So, I didn\'t feel anxious to stand in front many people. 
Finally I finished my speech. 
>> Correct!
My mother felt proud of me and cheered me up for finishing speech. 
>> My mother was proud of me and cheered me up for finishing my speech.
Finally the result was released, and I awarded 2nd prise.
>> Finally, the result was released and I got the second prize. ( spelling check: prize ^^)
>> OR: When the result was released, I got the second place. 
I didn\'t have any expectation about it, but I was happy.
>> I didn\'t expect it but I was happy. 
and the trophy which I got is still in my room.
>> And the trophy I got is still in my room. 

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