Yes I think.
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Good evening to you [이름]!
I really appreciate your effort for doing this tonight.
You surprised me with the words you used. Keep it up!
I hope that you will continue in broadening your skills especially vocabulary.
You did a marvelous job to express your ideas. I already made the corrections for you.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask me in class.
Teacher Nina
yes it is dangerous.
>> Correct
>> OR: Yes, I think it is dangerous,
Facebook is a kind of a self broadcasting, so there are lot\'s of people who can see your facebook page.
>> Facebook is a kind of a self broadcasting, so there are lots of people who can see your Facebook page.
>> OR: Facebook is some sort of self broadcasting, so there are lots of people who can see your personal profile.
Some people see your page to get along with you, but others not.
>> Some people see your page to get along with you, but others don\'t.
>> OR: Some people check your page to get along with you but others don\'t.
these people want to catch some infomation which can be used for their purpose, including collecting phone number even friends\' and your home adress.
>> Did you mean: These people want to get some information which can be used for their own purpose, including collecting phone numbers of your friends and your home address.
It might be used for stocking someone.
>> Did you mean: It might be used for stalking someone.
It\'s the weak point of facebook.
>> Correct ( Capitalization: Facebook^^ )
>> OR: It is the disadvantage of Facebook.
It can make possible to make anyone to friend but also make someone harm you.
>> Did you mean: It can be possible for you to make anyone your friend but it can also harm you.
>> OR: It can be a way for you to make friends or harm you.
In these days, people want to express themselves so they upload their photos and itinerary.
>> Did you mean: These days, people want to express themselves in a creative way so, they upload their photos and itinerary.
>> OR: Nowadays, people loves to upload their photos and itinerary.
To make matter worse, there is no exception for military people.
>> To make things worse, theere is no exception for military people.
they also want to reveal their life.
>> Did you mean: They also want to reveal some information about their life.
>> OR: They want to share some information about their life.
but it is very dangerous think.
>> Did you mean: But it is very dangerous for them.
>> OR: It is a very dangerous method for them to express or share something about them.
War can be occurred even in a cyber field.
>> War might occur even on cyberspace.
we can do our best to secure our life and information.
>> We should do our best to secure our life.
>> OR: We should do our best to secure the our personal information.
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