You have been a very competent worker but how long do you want to work?
학생이 쓴 원문
My goal is to work here for a long time. The various career development opportunities are what drew me to this position in the first place. From HR BP job here, I would like to expand my skills and knowledge until I am ready for C-level position. Eventually, I would like to have a management job with your company which I can work for the future with all employees. I want to be strongly devoted to your company.
강사 첨삭
Good day [이름]! How are you feeling now, I appreciate your effort of doing your homework despite being unwell. Stay healthy and well.
~Aki :)
My goal is to work here for a long time.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>>> I have set my mind to work here for a long time.
The various career development opportunities are what drew me to this position in the first place.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>> Several career development opportunities caught me to this position in the first place.
From HR BP job here, I would like to expand my skills and knowledge until I am ready for C-level position.
>>> From the HR BP job here, I would like to expand my skills and knowledge until I am ready for a C-level position.
Eventually, I would like to have a management job with your company which I can work for the future with all employees.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>> In time, I would like to have a management job with your company where I can work in the future with all employees.
I want to be strongly devoted to your company.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>> I want to be totally dedicated to your company.
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