You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you li

2020-07-27 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

My city is located in the northern part of the Seoul which is the northeast from the Seoul. This city is not developed enough because of less population and the location. So, people are having a trouble in their daily live. Few year ago, our mayor made a plan to change our city to cultural place. As part of this plan, Seoul Arena which will be the biggest concert hall in Korea have started to be built. Major problem that our city has is subway station. It was actually planning to be reconstructed 10 years ago, but there was a problem in the company which was in charge of construction. Somehow, the company had a financial problem so, it stopped the construction. We can still use a subway but the appearance of the building is terrible. So if I have a chance to improve something in my community, I will start the construction of subway station. Subway station isn\'t just a station, it is multiplex shopping mall too. So, if it will be remodeled, my city will be improved a lot.

강사 첨삭

Thanks for doing your homework Mr. [이름]. You\'re such a diligent student~! ^^ Keep it up! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
My city is located in the northern part of Seoul which is northeast from Seoul. 
>>> CORRECT
This city is not developed enough because of less population and the location.
>>> CORRECT
 So, people are having a trouble in their daily lives. 
>>> CORRECT
Few years ago, our mayor made a plan to change our city to cultural place.
>>> CORRECT
 As part of this plan, Seoul Arena which will be the biggest concert hall in Korea have started to be built.
>>> CORRECT
 The major problem that our city has is the subway station. 
>>> CORRECT
It was actually planning to be reconstructed 10 years ago, but there was a problem in the company which was in charge of construction.
>>> CORRECT
 Somehow, the company had a financial problem so, it stopped the construction.
>>> CORRECT
 We can still use the subway but the appearance of the building is terrible. 
>>> CORRECT
So if I have a chance to improve something in my community, I will start the construction of  the subway station. 
>>> CORRECT
Subway station isn\'t just a station, it is a multiplex shopping mall too. 
>>> CORRECT
So, if it will be remodeled, my city will be improved a lot.
>>> CORRECT

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