you should leave your children to do something by themselves.
학생이 쓴 원문
ESSAY: Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this?
I think that the reason why parents put too much pressure on their children is harder competitiveness than before. As getting better of our life about clothes, eating and living. we can have much time to spend our time on education of our children. Moreover recently parents in Korea have only one or two children in each family. For those reasons, parents have more interesting about their children\'s education.
But I believe that it has bad affect their children. From my experience, as you getting older doing something by yourself is getting important to succeed of something. In short term, much pressure can be positive affect to your children but otherwise your children is getting lose their ability to do something. So I think that even if there is not so good results in short term you should leave your children to do something by themselves.
강사 첨삭
Hi Sir JY ~! Your essays keep improving each day! Good job!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think the reason why parents put too much pressure on their children is harder competitiveness than before.
>>> CORRECT
As getting better of our life about clothes, eating and living. we can have much time to spend our time on education of our children.
>>> As our lifestyles get better, we can have much time to spend on our children\'s education .
Moreover recently parents in Korea have only one or two children in each family.
>>> Moreover, recently, parents in Korea have only one or two children.
For those reasons, parents have more interesting about their children\'s education.
>>> For those reasons, parents get more interested on their children\'s education.
But I believe that it has bad affect their children.
But I believe that it has bad affect their children.
>>> But I believe, it has bad effects to their children.
From my experience, as you getting older doing something by yourself is getting important to succeed of something.
>>> From my experiences, as I get older, doing something by myself is more important to succeed on something.
In short term, much pressure can be positive affect to your children but otherwise your children is getting lose their ability to do something.
>>> In short term, much pressure could give a positive effect to your children but otherwise your children will lose their ability to do something.
So I think that even if there is not so good results in short term you should leave your children to do something by themselves.
>>> So I think that even if there are no good results in short term, you should let your children do something by themselves.
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