young people

2021-10-19 · 첨삭 강사 Aki

학생이 쓴 원문

Young people is losing the satisfation of their own\'s work and the value of labor. I regard these values as very important fators of happiness in our life. However the current trend, especially Korea, is making young people pursue material consumption desire. It is unfortunate that young people are only concerning to buy luxury bags, expensive brand items and foreign cars as means of self-expression.

강사 첨삭

Hello there Ms. [이름]! Thank you for spending time doing your homework. You expressed yourself well. Keep it up and always bring with you that passion.
Aki~
Young people is losing the satisfation of their own\'s work and the value of labor.
>>> Young people are losing the satisfaction of their own\'s work and the value of labor.
I regard these values as very important fators of happiness in our life.
>>> I regard these values as very important factors of happiness in our life.
>>> I consider these values as essential factors of happiness in life.
However the current trend, especially Korea, is making young people pursue material consumption desire.
>>>  However, the current trend, especially in Korea, it is making young people pursue material consumption desire.
It is unfortunate that young people are only concerning to buy luxury bags, expensive brand items and foreign cars as means of self-expression.
>>> It is unfortunate that young people are only concerned to buy luxury bags, expensive brand items, and foreign cars as means of self-expression.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·