Your job has a greater effect on your overall happiness than the social life does.

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Teacher Sophia

Here are your corrections:

Both facets, a job and the social life, are important, but, I think, what kind of job you have is more seminal to your happiness.

>> CORRECT 
Firstly, most people spend more time in a work place than with friends, so a job accounts for a bigger portion in someone\'s life than the social life.

>> Firstly, most people spend more time at work than with their friends so they no time for social life.

If you don\'t like your job and it\'s hard time to be in your work place, you might get a lot of stress from you job. You are likely to quit the job finally.

>> If you don\'t like your job and your job is too difficult. You are likely to quit your job.

On the other hand, the time to spend in your work place is delightful, you will alway wait for you office time.

>> On the other hand, you will stay with your job if you re delighted with it.
Secondly, the power of money is very potent in you life.

>> Secondly, the power of money is very potent in life.

If you have a job with a great amount of salary, the quality of your life will be improved much more.

>> If your compensation is good then the quality of your life is improved.

If you have enough money, you can buy everything you want to get such as luxurious cars, convenient houses and splendid clothes.

>> If you have enough money, you can live a luxurious life having a luxurious car, convenient house and splendid clothes.

This gorgeous items will make you happy and joyful.

>> These gorgeous items will make you happy.

On the other hand, if you don\'t earn much money, you are always concerned about your consumption.

>> On the other hand, if you don\'t earn much money then you are always concern with your expenses or comsumptions.