Youth should not use face book
학생이 쓴 원문
First of all, youth use of face book like sns can lead to many bad consequences. For example, youth\'s uses of sns can lead to less homework, because they cannot concentrate in their works so eventually, there score will drop.
Second of all, in sns there can be many bullying happening. In sns there are many bullying happen so many students are commiting suicide. So I thinks that we should regulate sns to stop student bullying other.
Third it can has some vioent information that children should not see.
강사 첨삭
Good day, Jude! Thank you for writing your composition. I feel happy every time you send your composition. it is also good that you share your ideas and opinions in your composition. We will talk more about Facebook in class. I will see you in class then. Keep writing! ~T. Lyn
First of all, youth use of face book like sns can lead to many bad consequences.
>>First of all, teenagers liking and using Facebook can have many bad consequences.
For example, youth\'s uses of sns can lead to less homework, because they cannot concentrate in their works so eventually, there score will drop.
>>For example, teenagers\' use of social medica may cause them to do less homework, which can lead to lower grades because they can\'t focus well on their studies.
Second of all, in sns there can be many bullying happening.
Second of all, in sns there can be many bullying happening.
>>Second, a lot of bullying can happen on social media.
In sns there are many bullying happen so many students are commiting suicide.
>>There is a lot of school violence and many students commit suicide.
So I thinks that we should regulate sns to stop student bullying other.
>>So I think that social media should be regulated to prevent students from bullying others.
Third it can has some vioent information that children should not see.
Third it can has some vioent information that children should not see.
>>Lastly, social media may contain violent information that children should not see.
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