[[이름] essay]

Some teenagers have part-time jobs while they are still students in Korea, too. I think this is good idea for young people. They have a experience on the sociality. As you know, there are many inclement or bad persons in our society. So, in order to overcome some trial, we need a simple experience.

Hi [이름]! I would have to agree with you. It\'s okay to have a part-time job as long as you can balance your time between that and your studies. I\'m not sure why you used the word \'inclement\' in one of your sentences below. I think it\'s better to just say \'bad people\' instead. Please review that part. Thanks for putting in your two cents about this. Keep up the good work! Please check my corrections below. Ciao! ~Teacher Marie~ Some teenagers have part-time jobs while they are still students in Korea, too. >> CORRECT! I think this is a good idea for young people. >> CORRECT!They have a experience on the sociality. >> They would gain some experience in the society. OR >> This would give them an experience in the society. As you know, there are many inclement or bad persons in our society. >> As you know, there are many bad people in our society. So, in order to overcome some trial, we need a simple experience. >> In order to overcome our trials, we need some experience.