[이름]'s 2nd essay

Would you give up all first world perks, to live in a 3rd world country but be happy? "Yes I will do that." Above all happiness is very important for me because that's the reason to live. Even if all first world perks are very attractive (such as much money, position in society, beautiful women), I will not choose them if those make me unhappy. In fact to live another world needs a very big brave because nobody knows what happen there. Furthermore To get used to new circumstance needs many times and patience. As a result That needs many factors and good lucky to live in a 3rd would country. But if this world makes me happy I will go there without any hesitation!!

Happy Friday my dear [이름]! It\'s Friday...It\'s Friday! Yep! it\'s the end of the week and it\'s already the weekends. I am excited to take some rest and I know that you do too. Well, I know that you\'ve been working hard over the past days, so have some R&R this weekend.  Anyways, with regards your homework, It is great... Your line of thought is consistent and you even had a conclusion. I enjoyed reading your essay. Just try to avoid over wording your sentences okay? Enjoy your day and I will see you again later for another FUN FUN class.  Always, ~Aimee^^ Would you give up all first world perks, to live in a 3rd world country but be happy?>> Correct\"Yes I will do that.\" >> Correct >> Yes, I will live in a 3rd world country and be happy. Above all happiness is very important for me because that\'s the reason to live. >> Above all, Happiness is very important for me that\'s the how one should live.Even if all first world perks are very attractive (such as much money, position in society, beautiful women),  >> CorrectI will not choose them if those make me unhappy. >> I will not chose them if those things makes me unhappy. >> I will not chose those over happiness.In fact to live another world needs a very big brave because nobody knows what happen there. >> In fact. living in another world requires bravery because nobody knows what will happen there.Furthermore To get used to new circumstance needs many times and patience. >> Furthermore, getting used to new circumstances or things needs time and patience.As a result That needs many factors and good lucky to live in a 3rd would country. >> As a result, one needs luck because there are many problems that may occur when one lives in a 3rd world country.But if this world makes me happy I will go there without any hesitation!! >> Correct